Remembering Mom

The 27th of February marked the 2nd year since my mom entered eternity.  The first 18 months were really rough, as you probably recall from some of my posts.  The travels back and forth between two states, spending weeks at a time away from home, dealing with my dad and his issues...and stories...and coming home to find more housework than ever took a toll on my entire being.

I'm really seeing in just recent weeks, that I'm returning to "me".  I'm working through things that have piled up.  I'm getting out with friends on a regular basis, and generally, most things are looking up.

This picture is my mom's senior picture.  She graduated in 1951.  

I always thought she was very pretty.  She had dark hair, and blue eyes.  I always disliked that I favored my bio-dad with brown hair and brown eyes - always wanted blue eyes.  I did get her wavy hair but didn't like it because, hey, I was a child of the 1960s when long straight hair was the fashion.  My hair was also very fine - like my dad's too - so very long and wavy in a damp climate (=frizz) was the bane I endured.  

My mom endured a sad life, mostly by her own choices.  The only things she seemed truly happy about was her horses when she had themm, and later in life spending time with her grandchildren.  In her final decade, we had finally reached a peaceful understanding of each other - there had been some very turbulent years that stretched into decades prior to that.  

I miss her greatly.  I miss our conversations.  I miss the familiarity that one has only with their mom.  I miss calling and asking her about her memories of her own childhood and family.  We lose so much when we lose our moms, even if the relationships haven't always been great.  I would love to have her here again.