Memorial Day Thoughts

When I was young, and even up until not so many years ago, I didn't give much thought to what lie behind the meaning, or purpose, of Memorial Day (formerly known as Decoration Day).  All through school and throughout my paid-career years, the day was just another holiday, a time to get away from whatever stress was happening at the time.  While a child, our family didn't do anything special at home, it was just a day away from school.  As an adult, it was a day added to the weekend making for time to go camping, or have friends over for a good time and maybe a barbecue and marked the beginning of summer activities.

Over the last decade or so, however, I've come to realize just what this day signifies.  It's a day of cost.  Lives were lost.  Families left behind were changed forever, and not necessarily for the better.  It should be a solemn day, a reminder of these wonderful men and women who were too early lost to their earthly families.  These soldiers and their families had hopes, dreams, goals for the future.  They said goodbye to their mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, wives, husbands, children and all the other shirttail relatives and friends they had ever known.

Decoration Day was begun after the Civil War by the Grand Army of the Republic (Union) according to Wikipedia, as a day to remember those who were lost in that war.  They honored them by decorating their graves with flowers.  I didn't really know that until just last year, and while up north, went with my aunt and uncle and family members around to several cemeteries where family members are buried to place flowers on their graves.  I wasn't aware that my aunt and family followed that tradition.  In their remembrances though, it doesn't pertain to just those in the service, they make it for remembering all family that have gone before...but somehow, in my mind, and while that's a nice gesture, the deeper meaning and intent is lost.  That being, remembering those who died while fighting for either a cause they fully believed in or were compelled to fight because they were soldiers when a war broke out and it was their duty to do so.

A few from among my own ancestors, family and friends who I would like to honor today:

• My great-great-grandfather, Richard Haas (real name) fought with the Union.  He was taken prisoner and died as a POW at Salisbury, NC.  He died from starvation, just weeks before the war ended.  He left behind in Michigan, a wife and three children, the youngest being not yet three years old.  His widow never remarried.  
• My step-father's cousin was stationed in Pearl Harbor aboard the Utah, losing his life in the attack from Japan.  
• In 1968 in Viet Nam, my second cousin (Gary), the only son among three children, lost his life in Long An Province.  At 15, it was the first funeral I'd attended.  I had only met him for the first time a year before at a family reunion.
• The son of a friend I'd lost touch with for many years, gave his life in Iraq 11 years ago, leaving behind a young wife and two babies, in addition to his parents and family.  Though I didn't learn of this until a few years ago, I was heart-broken.  I knew this young man (Chris) as a 9-year old little boy with an infectious smile, dimples in his cheeks, who loved bacon. 
• While not losing his life during his term of service, my mom's cousin Vern, lost his life a few years ago from the long-term effects of the agent orange he encountered during his tour in Viet Nam.
• Some of my classmates in high school in the late 1960s, lost their brothers in Viet Nam, as so many did during that awful conflict. 

I recognize I am not alone with the losses of members of their family and friends, and perhaps many of my readers lost someone far more closely held to them, where the pain of that loss is an enduring reminder of the costs of war, than I.  Today, I pray for you as you remember again the heartaches of those losses.  

Let us all remember that today, Memorial Day, is a day of remembrance and honor to those who died in the service for their country.  And while we like to honor all service men and women, this holiday is separate and distinct from Veteran's Day when we honor those veteran's still living who do and who have served in the military.  God bless you all.

Catching Up

Here I am, eight days after my last posting on either of my blogs.  It's Memorial Day, and it's a beautiful day here in the Northwest with low-70 degree temps and partly cloudy skies, the kind that make you want to lay out in a hammock and find object-shapes in them.  Yesterday, my sister said one of them looked like an airplane and I found myself actually looking for the airplane she was talking about until she said 'in the clouds' - well, isn't that where airplanes are anyway?  She of course, saw an "airplane-shaped cloud" and it did look like one but rather cartoonish in style.  Fun anyway!

Lovely peonies

Let's see, what have I been up to for the past week plus since my last post? I traveled north of course and that was a 13 1/2 hour trip making only three stops for gas and using those same stops as my restroom breaks and for grabbing something to eat.  They were quick stops; I wasn't wasting time on the road!  The drive went quickly and after arriving back at my Dad's, the next few hours also went by in a flash and before I knew it, it was time to get to bed.

I love these rust irises, though they really look brown in the house.

I was pleasantly surprised to see that my Dad actually looked better, though he was still complaining about his health and weight loss (he's gained back about 10 pounds though he doesn't think so - but I saw the scales!).  I have my own opinions on the causes for his current health issues! 

My dad dozing off on the sofa - probably not the best picture

While glad to see him looking so good, I was a bit irritated that I left home at least two weeks earlier than planned because over the phone it sounded like he needed some medical attention (non-life-threatening) sooner than later.  It was not the case and we won't be seeing the doctor until tomorrow. 

Since I've been back here, I've been fighting a tension of complete inner irritability yet requiring the need to display abundant outward grace and patience along with trying to explain (from my better reasoning abilities) what may be causing some of his problems over the last few months.  Remember, my mom passed away and they had "taken care of" each other for 56 years.

One of the hardest things for me to deal with is his retelling of stories from his younger years and the 'escapades' of himself and people he knew; stories of a nature that should not be spoken of nor heard about once, let alone frequently!  Trying to tell him he's already told me that story hasn't worked.  Having known him for 78 58 (edited) of his near-81 years, I also know it would do no good to tell him I just do not want to hear them because he'd conveniently forget my request or tell them even more often! 

Another beautiful iris

Lest I give the impression that he's an ogre, he is not, he just doesn't have very good 'filters'.  He can be quite congenial and quite generous and sweet.  When I arrived, he had walked over to the Chinese food place and brought back dinner - he was walking in as I was driving in.  He had also gone out during the day and picked, not one, but TWO vases of flowers for me and had one in the dining area and one in my bedroom.  He has highly complimented me to others on my efforts at helping him with his financial affairs and working towards getting his medical needs squared away and recognizes how all of this takes me away from my husband and son and the responsibilities of my own home.

Vase 1: Rose, lily, peony

Vase 2: peony, pansy, rose, lily, clematis, and that purple flower (if you know what it is, please tell me) delphiniums.

I spoke privately with my Dad's general doctor.  I can't say as he enlightened me of anything I haven't already recognized.  I've not yet met the doctor he we will be seeing tomorrow, and after reviewing the medical files here at the house, I'm not sure he's going to give us any new insights either, but at least I will be there, taking notes, with eyes, ears and mind fully intact. ;)

This morning, I went along with my aunt, uncle and cousin to visit a cemetery while she put flowers on some graves.  Though Memorial Day originated from a day of remembering soldiers who died during a war, it seems it has morphed into a day of remembrance in general of those who are no longer with us whether they were in the military or not, and many others even see it as a day to honor those in the military still living on this day, perhaps confusing Veterans and Memorial days.  Regardless of how one sees this day, I enjoyed going with family members to remember those who are gone and those we miss.

The headstone image above is not known to be that of any relative, although within one married-in branch of the family, there is the name Pankratz.  Perhaps that's why I took a photo of it, just in case it ultimately does show up connecting to that family.

I went to a local RV show yesterday with my sister.  I wanted to see just what might be available for Marty should we reach the plan I've thought of with eventually moving here to the Northwest and having him take off to his favorite photo-op locales for weeks or months at a time - I'll stay home and quilt, work on genealogy, spend time with family and enjoy four real seasons!

Last night I had dinner at Wendy's with my Aunt Irene & Uncle Lloyd, my Uncle Carl and Aunt Claire, my cousin Dale and his wife & son.  Uncle Carl brought a few old coins to show as my cousin's 11-year old son has taken an interest in coin collecting.

1847 silver dollar

My uncle acquired the coin from my Grandma Freda's estate back in 1986.